Wednesday, June 8, 2011


In a couple of weeks, I'm going to be doing a workshop on Balancing Family and Ministry.
(Never more have I felt like I DO NOT have it figured out until I started preparing!)

I could really use some input...

Whether you are a ministry wife or have observed a ministry wife, could you help me out?

Ministry Wives:  What do you find is the most difficult thing about balancing family and ministry?

What is the one thing you have learned about being a ministry wife that you think other ministry wives should know?

Those who have observed ministry wives:  What are your perceptions of ministry wives? 

Be honest (but tactful, please)!  If you need to answer anonymously or by email, please feel free.
Thank you so much for your help!


sara said...

probably the hardest thing for me is balancing being open to my congregation but "protecting" my family at the same time. your congregation wants you to be open and vulnerable but at times hold you and your family at a different's a hard balance. And I have to really rely on the HS to help me know if the info I share will help a situation or hurt my family.

Have a PLANNED regular day off with your husband and family where you don't answer calls unless it's an emergency. My husband and I have always kept Friday as OUR day. We spend breakfast and the day together and then have family night at night. It is SO important to not only have those days but protect them.

Ashlie Miller said...

Family is your FIRST ministry. A couple years ago I read something I think it was in the book "Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother" (Carolyn Mahaney). It talked of those involved in ministry outside of the home and how often the home/family gets neglected. She mentioned making meals for so many other "in need" families (new babies, sick mommies, etc) at the expense of her own family's meals (meaning, spending more time on meals for others than for your family). I've been SO guilty of that in the past. I have got a better hold of it now. I still help others, but I make sure my family knows they are my first "small kingdom work".

Amanda said...

My observation: Seems that they either embrace it fully or are totally stressed out by it. I have seen some step away from the ministry and I have seen some get so deep into it that they lose themselves... man that sounds cliche.

I think I will pray for you sweet friend, that you will find YOUR perfect balance. :)

Kate said...

My husband Ian is the JR High youth leader at our church. When he accepted this role he was already the drama director and a Sunday school teacher. We didn't see a lot of him for awhile there!

I think it's important for both to have good boundaries, and to remember their first ministry is to their family, but that there will be times when the ministry will come first. Be up front with what you are able to handle when it comes to committments and absences, and what it will mean to your home life. It's ok to say you aren't comfortable with a certain aspect of something, and there will be times when you will be stretched.
For me, I wasn't comfortable with the youth calling our home, or dropping by at all hours, nor was I comfortable with transporting opposite gender youth in the car. I could handle the weekly committments and retreats just fine.

I think it's important for other ministry wives to know that they aren't expected to be perfect just because their husband serves. Looking at other ministry wives, I have noticed that they will put a smile on their face outwardly, but inwardly can be resentful. That's why I think boundaries are so crucial.

Hope this makes sense - I'm typing this out in the midst of household chaos!